The Barber
by SERIOSLYNICK
Summary: Gohan gets forced to take Goten to the barber. Chaos ensues.


The Barber

"YOU ARE GETTING YOUR HAIR STYLED, MISTER, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!" Chi-Chi screeched at the top of her lungs.

"But-"

"NO BUT'S, GOTEN! Haven't I told you, a mother knows best!"

"But, Mo-om," 6-year old Goten whined," I _like _this hair style! Why do I have to change it?"

Chi-Chi just gazed at Goten, with a dazed look on her face. After about five seconds, she just started wailing and bawling her eyes out.

"WAAAAAAAA!" She cried. "GOKUUUUU!" She kneeled down and hugged him, crying onto his shoulders. Goten, for his part, looked _very _confused. _What did I do wrong?_ He thought. _Did I upset her?_

17-year old Gohan, who has been in the room the whole time, decided it was a good time to intervene.

"Come on, Mom, it's okay." He said soothingly while rubbing her back, "It's okay."

She, instead, latched on to Gohan.

It was awkward, for the boys, just hearing their mother cry like that. The sound of her sobbing echoed throughout the house.

She suddenly stopped, turned to Goten, and wiped away all traces of tears from her eyes. Talk about Supermom.

"You are going!" She declared.

Seeing only one way out of this, I used his secret weapon. The puppy dog eyes.

"Please!"

She merely stood smiling, and slowly inched her right hand behind her back and brought a frying pan out of nowhere.

The Frying Pan of Doom.

Gohan visibly shudders, and Goten audibly gulps.

"You were saying?" She asks sweetly. Too sweetly.

"I-I was g-going to say I am very pleased to go get my hair styled."

"Good. I thought that's what you were going to say." She said, innocently. "Now go catch us a big lizard."

"Okay!" He replied, all too happy. After a "Bye!" he ran out the door.

"Don't be late for dinner!" She called out to him. She turned to Gohan, who was ever so slightly inching his way to the door, with the frying pan in her hand, and said, "You are taking him!"

_Ah jeez_. "Bu-"

_CLANG!_

"OW!"

"You were saying?" She asked, with that 'sweet' smile on her face.

_Sigh_ "Yea, Mom, I'll go."

"Perfect."

Two hooded men walked into the barber shop. Or, more correctly put, one man and one child.

"May I help you?" The barber asked. The barber was a tall man, and slightly overweight. He looked to be in his sixties, with graying hair that used to be blond with green eyes.

"We have a hair appointment under Son?" The tall man half asked, half declared.

"Let me check on the computer." The barber said. "Please sit down."

The two hooded figures sat down on red plush couches.

"Look at me, Gohan, I'm sinking." The short one asked joyfully.

The tall one, presumably named Gohan, replied, "That's because it's plush, Goten."

Goten removed his hood, revealing a cute, roundish face, and hair that looks like a palm tree. "Cool… What's plush?"

_Sigh._ "It's a type of material." Gohan, also with his hood down, answered.

"Cool… Can we get some?"

_Sigh. How did Mom drag me into this?_ "No, Goten."

"Aaaaw. Why not?" Goten whined.

He gritted his teeth. "Because, Goten, it's too expensive."

"Aw man!"

"All checked in. Where's Goten?" The barber asked.

"Here!" Goten replied. He came out of his seat and ran straight up to the barber.

_Hmmmm, look at that hair. It looks like a palm tree! No wonder his parents want it styled,_ The barber thought. "I'll take you into that back room, where we style hair."

"Mmh, OK!" Goten replied.

"Good, now come with me." He said. They both went into a room with steel doors.

_Whew! Goten sure is a handful! How did Mom get me into this?_, Gohan thought. Thoughts of the Frying Pan of Doom entered his mind. _That's how._

"Alright, Goten, this is it." The barber spoke, leading him to a leather black chair, "First, why don't you take that silly tail off."

"Hmm, I can't take my tail off." Goten said.

"What? Of course you can. Here let me."

"Umm, no th-" The barber pulled, "OWWWW!"

"What? How?" He said, flabbergasted. Instead of thinking about it, he yanked on Goten's tail.

"OWWWWWW! STOP IT!" Goten cried.

The barber, oblivious to Goten's cries, kept pulling.

Gohan, upon hearing Goten's cries, barged his way to the door. "What's going on!" He yelled.

The barber stopped pulling, "I was trying to take off little Goten's tail."

"What! Why? It's a very sensitive spot!"

The barber looked at him as if he sprouted another head. Or a tail.

"It's n-natural?" He asked, flabbergasted.

"Of course! Don't pull on it!"

"R-right!" The barber exclaimed.

"Good." Gohan said, and left the room.

"S-sorry 'bout that, little fellow. I didn't know it was real." The barber said.

"It's okay!" Goten said.

"Now sit here, yea right there. Now hold on a mome-done! OK, now Goten, we need to take the gel out of your hair, okay?"

"But I don't have any gel in my hair."

"Really? Hmm okay. You, mister, have a bad case of bed hair."

"What's bed hair?"

"Messy. Now I need you to help me, okay? Good. Take a deep breath, plug your nose, close your eyes, and dunk your head underwater, okay?

Goten replied, "Sure!"

"OK, good. Now on the count of three. One- two- three." Goten puts his head underwater. After maybe twenty seconds, the barber pulled Goten's head out of the water. He wasn't gasping for breath, or panting. _You've got some lungs, kid._ He looks at Goten's hair, now resembling a soaking mop. _Mission, accomplished._

"That was fun!" Goten exclaimed with wet hair in his eyes. Suddenly his hair kind of, exploded. It sprung up and sprayed water everywhere. And, of course, it went back to its original state.

The barber said something intelligent, "Huh?"

He got angry, fast. He grabbed Goten's head and dunked it in the water without warning. Goten made strangling noises, but the barber ignored him. He pulled his head out and it was like a mop. Needless to say, within a few seconds, his hair went back to being a palm tree. The barber cried out in frustration. He dunked Goten's head again and grabbed a container of hair gel and opened it. When he pulled Goten's head out again, he emptied the entire container of hair gel into Goten's hair and rubbed it down.

Did it work?

No.

Within five seconds his hair sprang up and gel flew everywhere.

"WRAAAGH!" He cried in anguish. "NO!"

"I'm sorry, mister, is something wrong?" Goten asked, concerned for the barber.

"I'm-"_pant_,"-fine." He replies. He takes out a pair of scissors and grabs a lose strand of hair. "This better work." He pulls the handles together around the piece of hair. The hair was still there. He looked at the pair of blades and saw that the hair had made a chip in the scissors. "WRAAAA! WHY ME!" He continues to rapidly try and cut the hair and proved to make more chips and cracks in the scissors. He throws the scissors across the room haphazardly. He grabbed his most powerful buzzer and turned it on.

"I'm s-scared of b-buzzers." Little Goten whispered, on the verge of tears.

The barber didn't listen. He grabbed Goten's head and attempted to use the buzzer. Goten had had enough. He stood straight up, knocked the barber down, and ran out of the room.

Gohan had been gazing around the room the whole time. He saw two rows of hair sprays, and the like. He saw a counter with the cashier on it. _He must have an alarm to leave it unguarded like that._ The other half of the room was couches and chairs. It was a small room. He discovered nobody else was here.

"BIG BROTHER!" Goten cried as he ran out of the room.

Standing straight up as Goten burst into the room, was Gohan. He sensed danger. Goten jumped right him and cried on his shoulders. And he was wet! How do I know this? He's hugging me! "What's wrong?" Gohan asks.

"He's hurting me!"

Just then the barber walked out of the styling room. And he looked furious.

"If I can't cut your hair, I"LL BURN IT!" He declared. To Gohan's surprise, he reached over the counter and brought out a huge flamethrower. The alarm started to go off. He started chasing Goten, trying to burn him. Goten ran in the opposite direction. The deranged barber burned most of the couches and wall.

"Wait, stop!" Gohan cried out. But they didn't hear him over the barber's hysterical laughter and Goten's crying. Gohan growled. He used a ki enhanced punch to blow out all the flames.

Things got really bad when Goten ran in between the two rows of hair spray and gel. The barber managed to burn the further most aisles and the flammable hairspray reacted with the flames and made an explosion. The both made it out of the aisle unharmed. Gohan went to those flames and, with a ki enhanced punch, blew out the flames. But not before the sprinklers went off. Because of the sprinklers, the flamethrower was ineffective, and he discarded it.

It was chaos.

Goten running around the room, the barber chasing him, and Gohan chasing the barber. Eventually Goten drop kicked the barber into the remaining aisle of goods. All the hairspray fell to the ground and opened, spraying everywhere in the room.

Once Gohan caught up to Goten, and he made sure both mouths were covered by there shirts, he said, "Are you alright?"

"N-no. WAAAA!" Goten cried. Poor kid, he's terrified.

They heard a _VROOM-VROOM_ and an engine turn on. They couldn't see anything, due to the spray, but kept turning in circles trying to pin-point it out.

"HELLO, LITTLE BOY!"

They both turned to the left, where the person spoke. There, with a chainsaw, was the barber! He slashed a Goten but he expertly dodged. This kept on happening for a total of two minutes. Finally fed up and angry, he used the last ki enhanced punched to knock the barber into the wall, successfully breaking it.

He used a ki beam to blow up the loud chainsaw, silencing it for good.

Both Son boys looked at the unconscious barber, scratched the back of their heads in unison, and laughed nervously.

"Well, uh, Goten? We should get going."

"Uh, yeah, right."

At that they flew right through the ceiling, causing two holes to appear, and went straight home.

"What _happened_ to you guys?" Chi-Chi asked, eyeing there scorch marks on their clothes, and Goten's unchanged hair.

"Umm, well, you see," Gohan started, nervously because the Frying Pan of Doom was in his mom's hands. "It wa-"

He was cut off, "Let me guess, chaos, right?" She remarked, a dangerous gleam in her eyes.

"U-um, yeah…" He finished lamely, cringing in anticipation of the frying pan. It never came.

"Good, glad to hear it. That barber messed up my hair last time, so I decided pay back was a must! And you guys must have been perfect!" Chi-Chi exclaimed. She went deeper into the house, talking and laughing to herself.

Gohan and Goten looked at each other, rolled their eyes, and went to their respective rooms for the night.

_The End._


End file.
